Originally Posted by
Shutterbug1 
Ok, so RAB just got back from 6 week rehab yesterday. He seems really good, happy to be home ect. So problem is...his counselor advised him to attend AA meetings every day for the next 90 days. He just called me on my lunch break and during the course of our conversation he let me know that he didn’t attend a meeting today because he is adjusting to being home and is anxious about going outside. He is planning to call his sponsor instead. I am concerned because it is his second day back and he is already going against the advice of his counselor. I am thinking I should talk to him about this tonight and let him know I understand that he is adjusting, however isolating oneself is one of the things to look out for and that the fact that he didn’t go to a meeting today is not looking good for the future. I also want to let him know that if he doesn’t want to go to meetings and follow his recovery plan that he should find accommodations elsewhere. Is this too harsh? I want to be supportive, but I also don’t want to be having these kinds of talks with him. I don’t want to have these kinds of discussions, he should be doing the right thing and I should be focusing at work and not having to plan a discussion with him tonight….help, this is what I didn’t miss.
Alcoholic here with 9 years sober. I don't suggest the 90 in 90 to my new sponsees as it is no where in the AA Big Book. What I do is get busy working the steps with them. The only way to overcome this is by working the steps and having the spiritual experience. He said he was going to call his sponsor instead, I think that is wonderful.
Us alcoholics can be very sneaky. You need to watch for drinking behaviors. I really hope you set boundaries and discussed them with him.
You need to worry about your well being and sanity, not his. Do what you have to in order to take care of yourself.
Wish you the best of luck!