Mere abstinence is not the be-all and end-all. But when it comes to alcoholism, it most certainly is. There may be other stuff that needs work, but you can get to that effectively only if you are sober.
Glad to have you here, Lilac. I hope that you find something here that sticks for you. Feel free to start your own thread - everybody benefits. If you aren't comfortable with that yet for any reason, just send me a pm.