Jessica,
Someone told me something this weekend that I keep repeating to myself. I can't get this thought out of my head but for once it's a good thought to have.
You are powerless over your husband but when it comes to you, you are powerful.
You can't control his drinking, his actions, or his thinking. But you can control how you think and how you react. You do not have to give your power to your husband. He only has power over you if you let him. Today, you can choose to be hurt by him or you can choose to brush it off. If he's not there for you, find others who will gladly be there. Develop a support system of people who love and accept you and will let you lean on them when you need it. He is just one person and not a very healthy person at that. Don't let his issues affect your self-esteem and don't expect more from him then he is able to give. You can do this, I promise.
Hugs,
JG