My son is an addict and I have experienced him overdosing and almost dying, but he lived each time. I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through right now, and I am so very sorry for your loss.
If you can find some support, a grief group perhaps, it may help you get through these dark days. We both know alcohol isn't the answer, so maybe one day soon you will feel strong enough to reach out and find some help for your pain.
I will keep you in my prayers.