((Perhapslove)) - I'm both an RA and a recovering codie with loved ones still using. I can tell you that even when I was homeless, in and out of jail, etc. I knew I was loved. My reaction to dealing with ANYTHING, including the guilt of what I was doing to my loved ones was "get numb". It was absolutely never personal. I didn't use AT anyone, I used because I am an A.
Now, I live with my stepmom and dad - she's an A, he's an enabler. I recently decided to "prove" my gut was right - found 4 empty pill bottles of over 200 pills empty in less than two weeks. Guess what? Didn't matter. She came at me like I was threatening her life, and in essence, I was - I was threatening her addiction.
Now I remember why I had stopped trying to find proof of what I already know. I was her, at one time. I still can't help her because she doesn't want it. I can't help dad not enable her, either, as he doesn't want help. The best I can do is set boundaries and stick to them. If I slip, I get right back up.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy