Originally Posted by
PerhapsLove 
I do have to remind myself often that she is not doing this "to" us. But I worry that if I cut her off completely, she will think we didn't love her. The worst thought in the world for me right now is of her dying of an overdose and thinking she was so worthless than even her own mother gave up on her.
So many of us parents here have this need to make sure our adult children feel loved as if the adult child forgets one day to the next. The reality is that this kind of thinking is a tad self-serving and all about validating ourselves.
You are not responsible for what she thinks or the choices she makes and vice-versa.