MissyShelle76

. . . .that all the qualities about myself that I have always loved are exactly the qualities I needed to draw upon to say "I am never drinking again"

I'm the type who has always believed "I am in control of my choices. I choose the outcome based on my initial choices"

Yet, when it came to my alcoholism, I was told it wasn't my fault, I couldn't help it, it's an allergy, a disease, a hopeless cause.

And it never felt right. It never added up logically. When I brought up my issues regarding this, I was told I had no ability to think for myself and my thinking is what got me in trouble in the first place.

I've noticed that it seems easy to recognize my AV. Maybe it's because I'm an internal person so I listen to myself a lot, if that makes sense. I just know, when I hear the Imp roaring, I know what IT Is.

And I realized the past few days is the first time since I started my journey that I realize no one in my other form of recovery believed in me. They said the only way for me to achieve any form of sobriety was to take myself out of the equation.

Now, finding this site, learning about AVRT, it's the first time I have heard "M, we believe in YOU. YOU can do this"

All I know, is that the past few days, I have been able to take the alcohol, put it away (in my mind) and get about the business of living.

And isn't that what it's all about?

I'm living. I'm having a life. And I am no longer obsession "OMG! I have to not drink today. I have to do xyz to not drink"

Instead, I have my moments of saying "Stupid craving, shut up" and get back to my business."

All I know is a switch flipped in me. I no longer obsess about drinking. I no longer wonder "OMG, how will I do it" I just do it. that simple.

I was told I am taking the easier, softer way. I told them no, I'm taking the right path . . . .for me!