Similar story
I have been in a similar situation. I'm almost 2 years younger than my brother. I saw my brother turn into an addict from 7th grade untill my senior year in highschool, I finally tried to get him help for the first time. I thought I was doing the right thing for him by not telling him and getting him in trouble for some reason, I wanted him to trust me and be cool. I never thought about addiction, I was thinking it was just a phase, I even thought it was normal, as if most kids do all those crazy drugs and sometimes he would get me too. I grew away from him, and once it got to the point that he was stealing from me and friends and other family members to pay for drugs i realized what he had become, and I walked in on him stealing soooo many times, i had enough, he was kicked out of the house after stealing countless times. Even after he was kicked out, he was stealing family money through forged checks. He was sent to rehab like 3 or 4 times, and never worked. The good thing is, last week we got him to go to rehab again and for the first time he called my dad and cried and apologized after the detox. I lost hope on my brother, but i think i have hope again. I dont know what to say about the guilt thing, i feel the same way sometimes. I should have known better, seeing him do drugs and tell me all about it on a day to day basis i thought it was something a lot of kids did, i was in denial. Im glad to hear your brother is clean. That is very good news, I hope one day my brother will return to the charming person that he truly is, addiction with hard drugs like heroin and coke and meth really change a person completly. Remember, your not responsible for someones addiction, you didn't introduce your brother and pressure him to do drugs, he was doing that on his own. Hope everything works out for you and your family.
I have actually written a lot of poems about this situation, maybe you can relate to them, here is one of the poems I wrote, called, Retrospect. If interested in other poems about this topic or similar ones i can send you a url to my blog with all my writings and poetry, maybe it could help.
In retrospect,
I recollect, that there were signs in which I would blindly neglect.
I was fooled and in denial.
There were things I could have, should have done.
I turned my back on your beloved son,
Closed my eyes and blocked it out.
I thought I was doing him a favor,
I wish I knew then that there is no later.
I was waiting for this phase to finish its cycle.
Ogling over prescription pills,
Mouthwatering for more.
What’s the harm in a little medicine?
I never thought twice about his addiction
All around me, so many omens.
He had to let his devils win.
Preaching that selfishness is not a sin,
A lifetime of lust, allow yourself to give in.
Walking on ice, turns out it was too thin.
Drowsy, now he’s drowning,
Ice cold water to his chin.