Originally Posted by
tygertyger 
- bits of unaddressed debris are everywhere. Laundry gets done, but never folded or put away. Items are purchased and put into use - with all the labels and tags still on them. Blinds are installed, but the pull-cords are never untangled. Dishes are rinsed, but never really washed. Moving boxes are unpacked...and then the empty box sits there for weeks.
This struck a chord with me. My XAH has been gone now for three weeks. I've spent the last three weeks, when I'm not at work, trying to fix my house. He left bits of crap everywhere. I spent years living in a house I was ashamed of. My thinking was that if he was allowed to spend every spare moment off his face and not helping around the house, then I wasn't going to follow him around picking up the debris he left behind. Every job he started around the house was ALWAYS left unfinished or done half-assed. He would spill red wine on the carpet and do NOTHING about it. Smoke cigarettes and burn holes in the carpet, on the lounge, in his clothes.
The state he left this house in reflects the state of his mind. He was always drunk or drugged - that was his number 1. The state of the house and the walking on eggshells and the fear in me and my kids - we are collateral damage.