paragonlost, now that others have replied to this post, I'm curious how you feel. Do you realize that though your motives may not be to intentionally hurt someone - you will hurt someone when you drink! And because people love and care about you, they will be hurt more than those that don't have that emtional attachment to you.
The last time I read one of your posts, I was unsure if you were hoping to stop the drinking or just trying to talk yourself into if you thought maybe you didn't want too. I don't know where you are now as far as your drinking goes but I hope that you realize that an addiction is progressive - it will get worse! And it also hurts not just the person that is drinking, but also everyone around them.
I hope that you are ready to stop drinking and ready to seek the help that you need.
((((Paragonlost)))))