Jess -
I get into a lot of trouble with expectations of others. Not really expectations of what a particular person should do but expectations of how a person playing a particular role in my life should behave - like a spouse.
I realized that the person I was disappointed in was me. I had expectations of how I should behave, what I should tolerate, etc. I wasn't fulfilling my own expectations of myself.
My happiness doesn't really come from gifts or cakes anyway. It comes from the acknowledgement that I am important and I am a fantastic person who is loved.
Since I know I am a fantastic person and I know that I deserve to to be loved, I don't need anybody else to confirm that for me. It's nice but not necessary.
You have a great time on your birthday with your daughter.
I think you're a fantastic person and I know she does too.
L