Actually, I think my anger is more at myself for not working on acceptance enough. For thinking I accept things as they are, yet getting angry at myself for not working harder at improving myself and my situation.
Yes, you are 100% correct, I am choosing to stay. I guess I'm just trying to figure out where I'm dropping the ball and what I can work on to get to a point where I have peace and serenity, no matter what the outcome of our marriage. I think that's where I'm stuck: looking for peace and most likely looking in the wrong places. At this point I don't know my head from my a**, I'm so mixed up and I'm doing it to myself.