lizatola

Ah and I met with a second marriage counselor today. It went about the same as the other meetings. We have so much water under the bridge and he accused me of never being able to forgive him. To which I said that he seems to be confusing forgiveness with trust.

I think he expected something from me when he came back from Vegas, he won't specify so I won't assume. He says he apologized and has been to 1 AA meeting. He said he's not buying my new spiritual crap and that I obviously am not working it very hard because I still walk around all angry.

So, I have to agree in some respect. Yes, I'm still angry, there are layers to mt anger and I'm working hard at peeling my way through them. He called me up drunk just a week ago, and proclaimed he was done drinking and I'm not sure what he wants from me? Then the therapist wants us to work on validating each other's feelings. Well, that's going to be hard because we don't talk to each other anyway!

I have been having a bad week. Just feeling discouraged in my program. Not ready to end things yet. The therapist asked me to commit to 90 days of working with my AH and with him to see where things are at that point. I admitted to them both that I am on the fence. Sigh, I guess I could just use some encouragement today. My AH made it seem like he was the victim of my issues and I pretty much did the same. Not doing a good job of acceptance or seeing the positive. I got really angry when he started ragging on my family and how my family is OK with divorce and that they are all feeding my mind with divorce support! Ugh, not really. My family is a wonderful sounding board and that's where it ends. They've never counseled me to divorce, ever!