LeftLucy I can definitely relate. I too was consulting friends and I had some tell me that I'm not an alcoholic because I go through a week spree and then cut it out for a few days, and others told me that I had a massive problem and needed serious help. They didn't know the true me inside when I am alone and they also were not suitable to answer a question that I could only answer for myself. You know how you feel when you wake up and realize you were out of control yet again. I have had many of those days. When it gets to that point it is time to make some changes. The true friends will remain if they really want what's best for you. As for weddings, parties, vacations and such? You'll get to a point when you realize you are having WAY more fun than the drunk ones are and on top of that, it's a fun time that you will remember, so I'd call it double-fun! Laugh like them, loud and hardy, it actually makes you feel great! Dance like them, tell jokes, make yourself the life of the party. I did that once at a birthday party and it felt great! Most of all, keep posting on SR whether you feel good or bad. There's always someone on here to rejoice with you and also to encourage you when you are feeling inclined to take a drink. Welcome!