Sweetteewalls, you have learned to Accept and Let Go. NO SMALL LESSON! Congratulations!
Active alcoholics, as they progress into the disease, pretty much do whatever they want regardless of the consequences to others. The kids and I even were called "collateral damage." Collateral - not front and center - merely a sideline to the A. That's it. It's all about the A. It's their "stinking thinking" as they say in AA, and not just the drinking.
Have you gone to Al-Anon meetings (some even have free babysitting available)?
Peace.