Erica
Hang in there..I understand. You're only human and you're doing the best you can. The emotions are so powerful and you feel so overwhelmed that it takes your breath away. I was doing the same thing, and I realized that his silence and staying away from the kids was just another form of manipulation. I used to get myself so worked up with anger, disappointment and anxiety, which was not healthy for me or the kids. I needed to find peace with the fact that I should have absolutely no expectations of him because he is just not capable of meeting them. I've come to terms with the fact that he makes his own decisions and I can't let it hurt me. There are times when I want to just cry in bed all day and other times where everything that could possibly go wrong does and it's overwhelming when you realize it's just you. The other night after work, homework, basketball & baseball practice, my dishwasher started over flowing with water and suds all over my kitchen floor, I just sat down and couldn't stop laughing. I'm sure my kids thought I was nuts. After about 5 minutes, I got up and cleaned the floor. I accepted the situation and decided to laugh instead of crying. I can't do that all the time but it helped me that day. I know it's alot but thank God you and your children have YOU.