Sel, welcome and congrats on stopping.
I thought I was just a problem drinker, until after I stopped drinking. Because when I was drinking I didn't have enough perspective to see just how much a hold it had on me. In fact it took quite a bit of time post drinking for the reality to sink in.
People who drink a lot, often defend it by saying it's not a problem...then provide a whole string of justifications that make total sense to one who is living a booze based lifestyle. but several months sober that same reasoning sounds beyond stupid.
I mean, if is was just "recreational" drinking, just a little bit of fun, then why does it escalate? Why does it require greater and greater amounts all the time? Why does it go from a buzz being enough, to blacking out NOT being enough? Why does it get to a point where risking jobs, relationships and getting DUI's are considered appropriate all in the name of a little harmless fun? Or I like the argument that only wimps don't drink...oh yeah, it takes SO much courage to not be able to get through a normal evening unless one is wasted...hmmm
Movies, bowling, going out to dinner...are things people do for a little fun. Most of us don't carry that to a point where we are risking everything we worked for in order to do it.
I used to think of myself as nothing but an alcohols abuser...and WHY I thought that was OK, I truly cannot understand. I thought I could just stop whenever I wanted.....but WHY did I never want to stop?
Hey, it's ok, I don't KILL the dogs, I just abuse them! Funny how that doesn't make sense, how that doesn't make it OK...but people use that argument about alcohol all the time.
I'm glad that you are more clear headed than your friend. I really have never ever heard an alcohol abuser say "Man, I wish I'd kept drinking longer, until things got even worse..." but I've heard many say "I wish I'd quit much much earlier"
I'm wracking my brain, but in my 47 yrs of life, I can't think of anyone I know who died drunk and happy.