Originally Posted by unentschieden
My mind (beast) was producing shadowy images of my mother's future death as justification for a bender.
lol...I'm not laughing at this because it's funny...I'm just laughing because my AV does the same. Scenarios of the worse possible situation(s), including the deaths of loved ones. Ruthless no doubt.
Originally Posted by unentschieden
Do I get angry about it? Sometimes. Am i sad that I lost control to the point that I had to give up something that in moderation can be tasty, relaxing, and did I mention tasty? You bet! Some may say that is the beast talking but I think not. It DOES stink that will never have a balvenie again. It IS a shame that I couldn't control myself.
I'm not going to debate whether this is AV or not. I'm just going to say that for me...I do not miss it, nor do I think it's a shame. I recognize that the way that I look at alcohol and its use on a societal level is very different from others. I felt this way even when I was addicted to it. I have always thought it a shame that people think they "need" something to relax, or be social, or whatever. I've said this before. I think that alcohol use on any level (or any other drug for that matter) is for those that lack...
If I am
only outrageous, witty, clever, charming, and confident when I'm buzzed up, what does that say about me? I prefer that I am those things all on my own
