cwohio

i went to my first session with a therapist last evening and was a bit nervous but think that i will benefit from going.

when i got home my ah was in an uproar - mostly mad because the neighbors were over beating on the door (one is deaf and the other i'm not quite sure if she is partially deaf) about a utility line that was down in the street. he also had bought a big screen tv and it's not working right now because they just brought it, of course it's more money to have some set it up. let me say he is in an "off" period. he drinks for 4-5 days and then goes off for 2-3 days sometimes because either he gets sick or something (quite frankly i don't know why he does this and he hasn't cared to share). needless to say when they are going thru the first stages of withdrawal they are quite on edge. i understand this, but my anxiety lies in several times in the past when he has "gone off" for several days he has ended up having seizures - last time in June of this year.

so i am anxious anyway and he just doesn't understand the need for me to go to see a therapist. i told him we both have a disease and i specifically mentioned my anxiety over past seizures and possible future ones. i also mentioned that when we had a cookout this past weekend he had been drinking and his daughter knew it and mentioned to me that she hates to be around her dad when he has been drinking.

the defense comes onto the field - i only had 1 beer (lie - he drinks hard stuff), what was i doing so bad (he just doesn't get that most folks might put up with the behavior once in a while, but we really don't like being around someone who has been drinking - it's just hard to explain how they act for them to get it).

anyway - why is it that they think that just because they are not yelling and screaming, etc. but being the passive drunk that that makes everything aok?

i really don't expect an answer - i already really know it. it just blows my mind sometimes at the different way we "see" things.

thanks for letting me blow off some steam!