I do have a very negative thought that keeps sneaking into my conscious thinking and it says, "Well, knowing him he'll give AA a try for a few months and then decide he doesn't need it anymore and that he'll now be able to stay sober on his own, quit AA, and we'll be right back to square one again." Is that bad of me to think this way or more realistic? I don't know, but it kept me up all night. Obviously, actions will speak louder than words.
Working on your own recovery may bring you to a day where you will stay in the moment and not have any predeterminations about what will or will not happen and if you do have a thought, it will quickly pass and it won't affect the path you are on for yourself at the moment.
AND WHAT THUMPER SAID ALL THE WAY.
I just spoke with a friend of mine who is very Christian about where may RAH and I are at and she said similar. That maybe I need to take time, maybe "a season" just continue to focus on myself and let go in to God's hands my RAH.
It sounds like you are doing so great stepping away from your AH responsibilities for his recovery. It is difficult and can get more difficult as A themselves face more difficulty.
From my experience I would say be prepared for even more self-centered, selfishness, especially as a result of being perceived as not being supportive or helpful to your AH the more you stand your ground and not interfere with his responsibilities. It's funny I have teenage children and sometimes I see my RAH behaving similar to them and when I set boundaries, my teenage children respond appropriately and my RAH just continues being selfish or resentful of my boundaries.
This kind of attitude from him sometimes makes it difficult for me to have a positive, loving attitude but one of my goals is to show and be more loving kindness so I am practicing putting RAH in to God's hands and showing kindness and love regardless of his moods.
I do think, even though you have made it clear that you are not responsible for his recovery, you do consider regular participation in AA being at a minimum a commitment to manage his disease and maybe the only way there is a possibility for your marriage to be repaired, although I wouldn't push repairing the marriage until he has had more than 6 months of sobriety. (If you want to leave that door open.)
Apologies if I have given too much of my opinion. Sometimes my postings turn out to be me clarifying my own thoughts for my situation. TWYWLTR
(((LIZ)))