Hopeworks, his friend was an alcoholic, too, but the drugs were creating more of a problem for him back then. This was 20 years ago and he was a sponsor in AA and my AH lived with this guy back then so he knows where his friend's heart is. I am not against him calling the guy, but I hope he realizes his friend can't be his sponsor. His friend has been out of AA for many years and is now very active in his church and has 4 kids that he's devoted to.
I think the phone call will be more for support than anything. They've known each other since kindergarten and this guy's father was also active in AA and is 25 years sober. He was like a surrogate father to my AH back in his college days.
Thank you for the input. I was very clear on the phone with him that I am not responsible in any way for his recovery. I kept telling him, "Well, this will be your path and God will set your feet in the right direction. I can't tell you what to do, you'll figure it out on your own." I kept putting it back on him and reminding him that he will need to do the work for himself and that I will not take control or responsibility for his recovery.
And, you're right. Catching a meeting here and there won't cut it. He sounded so befuddled by his inability to quit and just couldn't understand why he let it get so out of hand. I kept my mouth shut because I know that if he goes to AA, he will find the answers there.
I am going to continue with my own recovery and continue with my plans. Still calling a lawyer to find out about legal separation in our state, still socking some money away for that rainy day, etc. And, still working on my resume! I already know this will be a hard road for him to follow and if he's not 100% committed than it will be short lived.
I do have a very negative thought that keeps sneaking into my conscious thinking and it says, "Well, knowing him he'll give AA a try for a few months and then decide he doesn't need it anymore and that he'll now be able to stay sober on his own, quit AA, and we'll be right back to square one again." Is that bad of me to think this way or more realistic? I don't know, but it kept me up all night. Obviously, actions will speak louder than words.