Why is it a good thing for you if he was at church to play-act at being the "good, godly husband and father" and was in a bad mood the whole time: you are being grateful for scraps, and rotten, moody, play-acting scraps at that. Essentially all he did was sat in a chair in a room in a bad mood.
There may be a time when you have to realise that he is not the person you want. All the words in the world don't change the fact that essentially you want a relationship with someone other than him. It appears you are trying to reconcile this by asking him to change into the person you want. He also wants to be with someone who is different to you, and is trying to reconcile that by asking you to change into the person he wants.
I understand this because this is what exAH and I did.