Learn2Live, so well said! "to get better myself, I had to come to the realization that it's not all about me. I had to let go of the resentments toward those I felt wronged me and realize that what they did had nothing to do with me. It was entirely about them."
Getting sober blesses everyone's life. Better for the children, the parents, the spouses - there is no downside. I think our society minimizes addiction, because drinking in general is so prevalent, even when the alcoholic loses their marriage, children, job, health. This is a progressive disorder - many, including the alcoholics in our life, will eventually die from this.
I went to go see the movie "The Master" this weekend. Horrible images of the pain of addiction - what got me is here is this man in the grips of this deadly and destructive disease and when they showed him drunk and flailing - the crowd laughed. Boy, those of us with any knowledge of addiction, cringed.
I hope that we can see past our own pain. We can go on and heal, find a new marriage, live a better life. They will be fighting this horrific addiction for the rest of their lives. We loved this person once enough to marry and go on and have children with. At the very last find the forgiveness.
Congrats on his 8 months of sobriety and and your 8 months of a new life, too!
Love so many of these great and heartfelt replies! Outonalimb, I think being able to say this is the beginning of a healthy life > I was the enabler and the martyr. Beautiful.