Nature is very healing for me too. I love birds too.
I hope you find healing , and that you find someday that not all people mean to hurt us. People just get 'bent' by things in their worlds, and hurt others in return. There won't ever be anyone incapable of hurting us. some people never wish to hurt anyone, but we are faulty, and need forgiveness sometimes.
i wish you peace, and healing, dont give up on people, and never define your worth by any thing anyone has done to you.