(((BobbyJ))))
I understand where you are coming from.
I am raising our 13 year old son entirely on my own. My exah is still a raging alcoholic...currently in jail. I don't receive any child support. I'm doing this all on my own. I too was left holding the bag.
I used to be absolutely, positively consumed with anger at him. I mean...seething, I would kill him if I could get away with it, mad.
But...and here comes the bitter pill... then I had to get real and take ownership for the way my life was. I was the one who married an alcoholic and had a child with him. I didn't know or understand what alocoholism really was but I had an idea deep down in my soul that something wasn't quite right. I married him anyway because I loved him so much. I'm the one who kept throwing good money after bad trying to dig us out of holes that he dug and make things right so I could have the type of family I wanted and had always envisioned for myself. He might have been the alcoholic in the family but I was the enabler and the martyr. I danced the alcoholic/codepenent dance and listened to empty promises and tried to force my exah to change. I did all that. If I had made different choices, I wouldn't be where I am today. I can't put it all on him. But I did the best I could at the time and now I'm doing better. Forgive yourself BobbyJ for the choices you made. Forgive your Ah for his problems. It's the only way your going to find peace in your life. Anger and bitterness will destroy you. I'm not saying its not justified. It IS justified. But that's not the issue. The issue is finding a better, more peaceful, more healthy way of life for yourself. After all, living well is the best revenge, right?