I get that you may not be able to identify at all where I ended up...but the fact is I was once where you are, SG.
Back in the beginning most of my drinking was parties and weekends...I was a hard drinker that was acceptable...the times I did go overboard were still within those societal parameters...it helped my 'circle' was pretty hard drinking' too.
I found my problem progressed - and as intelligent & astute as I was...I didn't realise it until it was too late.
D