Originally Posted by
Veggiejojo 
I did the online course, ordered the book although between working and studying for my part time degree (final exam next month), I have not had time to read it.
I would recommend that you read the book and the AVRT discussion thread.
Originally Posted by
Veggiejojo I have stated aloud that I will never drink again and I will never change my mind but I am not yet sure if I really meant it.
The Addictive Voice will naturally tell you that you don't really mean it. Recognize that idea for what it is, pure AV, the same as "go get drunk".
Originally Posted by
Veggiejojo What I have found interesting is how my beast has evolved. Firstly she is now a she, when I first started she was definitely more of an It. She has become less beastly, and is now something worthy of sympathy.
Your Beast will reorganize after you learn a bit about AVRT. It is a survival drive, and has no choice but to do this, any more than your hunger drive would if someone cut off your food supply. You would naturally start thinking of new ways to get food. The Beast's amorphous AV will change its tune, its gender even, in order to get you to buy into its agenda. Personally, I recommend avoiding gender designations for that reason. Show your Beast no mercy, no sympathy, or it may get you to drive yourself into the ground.
Originally Posted by
Veggiejojo I am well aware there is no real beast, so maybe this is me making peace with myself - or maybe my beast is damn sneaky and lulling me into trap - who knows but I am more peaceful, and not drinking doesn't feel like such a battle any more.
The Beast is nothing more than the drive, or the desire, to get drunk. You do agree that such a desire exists, no? That is your Beast. It needs to hide in order to be effective, and will even boast of its own silence, as in "I haven't even thought of drinking in weeks" or "I have no desire to drink."
There is no need to fear the Beast, or to battle it, but don't make peace with it, either. Why make peace with something that can drive you to ruin? Certainly make peace with its existence, but not with the Beast itself.