Liz, do you really think that it is reasonable to think that several years of Narcissistic abuse, weilded by an active alcoholic can be "undone" by a simple "i'm sorry"?
Anger from these psychological assaults can not be erased so easily. As a matter of fact, it increases over time---along with other emotions, such as depression, anxiety, guilt, fear, confusion and a gradual deterioration of self esteem.
The alcoholic will make attempts to manipulate you back to the status quo when he/she senses a threat to it. They need the status quo that allows them to comfortably function---drink.
Perhaps you sense the manipulation---anger is a natural reaction when we feel that someone is manipulating us.
The most encouraging thing I have heard you say is that you went to 3 alanon meetings last week. It is my opinion that a total committment to that 12-step program is your l ifeline in this situation.
As anyone in AA or alanon will tell you--it isn't enough to just show up (although showing up is a good first step), you have to do the hard work. That goes for seeing a therapist,also. I've seen some people go to "therapy" for years with little or no progress.What's up with that???
dandylion