Originally Posted by
BobbyJ 
He said he was sorry for when he told me that every time we've had sex in the past 17 years that he thinks I'm going to report him as a rapist the next morning. He got on his high horse and defended this stance at least 3 other times, twice at the marriage therapist to which he added: All white men in America live in fear that they're going to get reported for rape.
That's a sorry?? - WOW! I would say, that is pretty twisted thinking.
I didnt read or look. Has he been to AA or a rehab center?
One of the hardest thing's for me to do was to step back, let go
and let my XAH find his own bottom
Keep on working the program - You'll get it figured out
PS - I think Ive read that book 100 times too!
Well, to his defense his sorry was more than what I posted here. I couldn't remember it word for word. He told me that I was his wife, that I deserved better, and that his position was wrong and that he was looking at everything from a selfish position.
No, he will not go to AA nor rehab and has never before. He was dry for 15 years(he quit drinking before we got married when I was in my early 20s. I was naive enough to think that that was enough not truly understanding alcoholism and it's effects). He started drinking again 2 years ago and got a DUI back in February. He was told by his psychiatrist(whom he sees for depression and anxiety, and who prescribes him antidepressants for said illnesses) to go to AA but my AH claims it was just a suggestion and not to be taken seriously.
My AH is a binge drinker so he can weeks without drinking. He sees himself as having no problem with alcohol, I'm the one with the issues obviously.
Thank you, Bobby, for your input. I am stepping back and just letting things be. It's harder than it seems but I think it's worth the effort on my part to discover my own weaknesses and work towards wholeness for ME. I've spent too much effort on HIM for the past 20 years.
He's totally changing his approach with me this week. Greeting me with a kiss and even touching me while doing so is strange. He was completely withdrawn from me for the past 9 months, since the DUI. It's amazing what alcoholics will do when they know you are changing and growing and they don't like it, or are responding to it. He has made many statements over the past few months where he claims he feels threatened by Al Anon and my sponsor, and even by my therapist. It's all part of the disease.