Making peace with my beast ...
I may be getting ahead of myself here - I am only on day 29.
I did the online course, ordered the book although between working and studying for my part time degree (final exam next month), I have not had time to read it. Maybe I am making excuses. I have stated aloud that I will never drink again and I will never change my mind but I am not yet sure if I really meant it.
What I have found interesting is how my beast has evolved. Firstly she is now a she, when I first started she was definitely more of an It. She has become less beastly, and is now something worthy of sympathy. She didn't choose to pick up that first drink, but she has suffered, addication has been forced on her and she has had to suffer the withdrawal. So on those (increasingly rare) occasions that she makes herself heard, it is more of a wimper of a wounded animal and I briefly think of her and feel a bit sad.
I am well aware there is no real beast, so maybe this is me making peace with myself - or maybe my beast is damn sneaky and lulling me into trap - who knows but I am more peaceful, and not drinking doesn't feel like such a battle any more. Anywhos I am rambling maybe it's time I made the big plan and meant it, let's see if she finds her teeth again,
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