JayP

Finally beaten.

So numb. Smothered into a sick surrender.

Lying here next to you, trying to imagine how to put everything back together again.

A relationship destroyed one drop at a time,

by a poison that for "every" reason you can't live without.

A wicked spite it has summoned in you.

A burning animosity that glows in your eyes.

On every occasion we should have been sharing together

the poison took you somewhere else.

The hurtful words this poison put in your mouth.

I cried. An "emotional bitch"....

How very hard I've cried.

Squeezing back tears for the woman that you are now not.

I know the woman I fell in love with.

I remember that sparkle I first saw in her eyes.

I can still remember the springtime in her step, that cute smile on her face.

I still see her from time to time.

But now you prefer your dear old friend.

Those who love you know this friend.

Didn't this "friend" try to kill you once?

Should this friend ever be trusted again?

Fiend but certainly not a friend.

This poison knows how to cover its tracks.

It knows how to erase

into bitter, ugly hate,

what should be the sweetest, most beautiful memories.

You say those memories were the "sober" you,

Like "sober" was a bad you.

So you left sober behind.

I can remember that fateful moment, hour, day. The starkness of it.

The way you told me you had left "sober".

We had barely begun.

I remember my tears then too.

And so the poison changed you. It changed us. It has finally changed me.

I begged you "I can't go there with you"

But you told me it was my fault,

that I was to blame,

that I didn't "get you".

I surely don't get you now.

"Old" and "Boring" you said.

"You never want to have fun" you said.

"*******" you said.

Maybe.

You said "fix yourself".

"It's my life" you said.

Why wasn't it our life.

Now I guess you will seek out "friends" who accept the "un-sober" you.

The lesser you.

They will like your new old friend.

They will "get you".

They will "let" you.

They won't care what you do, just ask them they'll say it, "we don't care."

But only until they get close enough to you for it to affect them too.

Where will they be I wonder, when that time comes?... If it comes...

that time when you finally realize that you hated away the ones who begged

and cried and twisted themselves to find the the real you. The sober you.

The ones that fought for the real you when you were poisoned.

The ones closest to you that you forced into submission,

finally willing to accept whatever desperate relationship with you that you would allow.

Helplessly having to watch you drown yourself in that wicked friendship of poison.

That's not love, that's a flood?

So now I surrender, knowing that my love for the real you has come between you and you new old friend.

We are lost and I cant help but feel the utter blackness of your new old friends heart.

And now you have one more "reason" you're not able to live without

your poison.