Lizloh,
I am right there with you sweetheart. Sometimes I think we just don't want to fight with them either....in addition to the nurturing and caretaking that we've become accustomed to. We don't have good memories of how our AH's react when we don't go along with them. It feels very unnatural for me to stand my ground with my STBXAH. I'm just going to fake it until I make it, because the advice you're getting here is what we both need to hear. We don't need to be vindictive or nasty. But we are worth fighting for.... please know that. Will he be giving you the same deference you are considering giving him? Doubtful right?
I also think it will be a bit easier when you do have a lawyer who will handle a lot of this stuff for you. It's a nice barrier from them.
Good luck, stay strong and take care of you. You are going to be okay.
Hugs,
MamaKit