Maybe because you are like me and put everyone else before you. First things first: Learn, very quickly, that YOU are Number One. And PUT yourself in THAT position. First. Before ANYONE and EVERYONE else. Get selfish and learn to be comfortable with it. No, this doesn't mean u are going to turn into an azzhole. It's nothing to do with what you deserve or entitlement. It is learning to deal with selfish, uncaring people in a way that keeps you from continuing in the sickness. Quit being a doormat. He is not your responsibility. This is about taking your focus off the "poor alcoholic" (quit feeling sorry for and making excuse for him) and focus on your dreams, wishes, desires, and what you need to get where you want to go. What are you going to do with your one precious life?