lele120

Hey everyone,
I'm new to this site, but it looks like a great tool. I've been sober almost 18 months now, and I'm in the AA program, have a sponsor, work the steps, etc... The first sponsor I had relapsed about 5 months ago, while she was still my sponsor, I soon got a new sponsor, so no worries there, and thankfully my 1st sponsor was only out about 2-3 days before coming back into the program and starting over. She had more than 2 years of sobriety before the relapse that happened 5 months ago. About 3-4 weeks ago, she went out again. I can't say I didn't see it coming, she was going to 1-2 meetings a week and we talk daily and her attitude was changing. Unfortunately she is still actively in her disease, and it is bad. First she said she'd go to a hospital specifically for detox (not rehab, just the medically supervised detox) but changed her mind and said she'd do it "at home" with her estranged husband (who is sober himself, but not in the program- and when she's sober, they have a great friendship) She told him she was going out to a meeting on the 2nd day and went out to the liquor store and left him at her house and didn't return until late that night. A week ago she went to a treatment center where she'd gotten sober before (beginning the 2 year stretch) and after 2-3 days she somehow escaped. This place is in the middle of nowhere (very rural area), and she explained how she craweled through fences and into a field of goats, etc... Sorry if I'm rambling, I do have a point and question and I'm getting to it... She went back to the same treatment center the next day and after only being in there 1-2 days she left (in the less dramatic way of officially leaving against medical advice). That was yesterday. I have a really close friendship with her, and I love her dearly, and I truly do understand this disease. I have been very careful not to pass judgement or preach or lecture or anything I wouldn't have wanted anyone to do to me while I was still drinking. However, the past month or so has been really rough on me. I totally get that this is a selfish program and I have to take care of myself, and protect my sobriety. I don't feel any desire to drink, even when around her while she is, but this situation is seriously f*cking with my head. I know I can't get her sober, and that unless she's willing to try to get sober, me and anyone else is powerless to stop her. This is a situation where all the knowledge I have just is not helping me. I've talked to my sponsor about it, and she says while it's nice to be empathetic, I need to be careful not to enable her. I don't think that I am, in the sense that I'm not loaning her money, buying her alcohol or anything like that, but I'm not sure whether or not my hanging out with her while she continues to drink is enabling. I feel for my own sobriety, I'm going to have to stop being her friend unless or until she is willing to try to get sober. This whole situation breaks my heart, but I know this is what I need to do. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone's been in a similar situation and what I should do about it, and how to go about doing that (like telling her I love her no matter what, but I can't be around her while she's drinking). I'm just really confused, and very scared for her. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.