I'm confused too Liz - I've been following your posts & I don't understand at all how ANY marriage counselor can help you if he refuses to address his issues & you haven't even decided that you WANT to save the marriage. I don't understand what goal you are working toward?
And For what it's worth, I agree with Lillamy that it sounds like he will just continue to find fault with every counselor that tries to make him take responsibility for himself. Just my .02.