((((((((((((JellyBelly))))))))))))))
Hi, you are going to feel this way, being with an A is very confusing and bizarre, it's stressful and very very hurtful.
These feelings will fade, in time, but you have to give yourself time. It sounds like you are doing a lot to keep yourself going, good positive things, keep doing those things for yourself.
I'm wondering if attending the same church as his parents is something you can change, it's triggering you, and maybe in time, when you get stronger , it won't feel so bad, but maybe for now, just staying away is a good idea, just a suggestion.
I'm so sorry you are feeling so badly, keep posting, we are here, and we care.
love to you Katie