You are doing very well. It is so difficult to detach.
Originally Posted by
llavendar 
At one point right before he left, he was in my face (I was sitting on the sofa), grabbed my shoulders, and was really threatening. I told him to leave my house, and he did. I think he scares himself when he does that. He hasn't been physically abusive in a long time - it's been several months since he was physical with me.
This freaks me out a bit and is unacceptable. Might be time for a clear boundary.
"If ANYONE ever lays a finger on me without my permission, I will call the police."