Thank you, everyone. So much drama - every day he comes up with a new emergency, but I'm not playing the same game anymore.
I went to my first meeting tonight. It was nice, and I'm so glad I went. I almost couldn't find it!
Tonight at nearly midnight my son called saying he had run out of gas - I think I told you he's living in his car. I had earlier cautioned him about running out of gas, because I have no money to give him. He wanted me to put gas in his car, and when I suggested he ask all the people he's been driving around for gas money he wasn't pleased. He ended up at my house, really expecting me to cave in, I'm sure, since I have in the past. I refused to argue with him, but I also refused to give him anything, and I also told him he had to leave because he was getting very angry. At one point right before he left, he was in my face (I was sitting on the sofa), grabbed my shoulders, and was really threatening. I told him to leave my house, and he did. I think he scares himself when he does that. He hasn't been physically abusive in a long time - it's been several months since he was physical with me.
I feel badly for him, because I don't know where he is sleeping tonight, but I have to fight this pity I have for him. I truly believe that he is getting desperate now, and like someone drowning, he will drown me in trying to save himself. I can't pay his consequences.
I wish there were shelters here, but there aren't. At least it isn't freezing yet. I'm thinking he needs to have some time to think about why he's out of gas, and get motivated enough to ask THEM for money.
You are absolutely right! I need to back off. As it turns out, he was making as many horribly self destructive decisions as he was being proactive while I was gone, but now he just wants me to bail him out. I am not going to do it.
