Originally Posted by ACOAHappyNow

If you tell a young female relative about sexual abusers in order to protect her and let her know she is in danger from relatives she has been spending time around, does that constitute poor personal boundaries?

I let my niece know it wasn't a good idea to be alone with my father and brother because they sexually abused me (and others) and never expressed any regret or saw their actions as wrong.

My only wish was to protect her from harm.

My sister is furious and says I should just let the past be the past and forget about it, that the fact that I remember the abuse is a sign I am not mentally well. She says I should just act like it all never happened.

I didn't tell my niece just to be making conversation - in fact it was very very hard for me to break the family rules of "don't tell" and I did it knowing my family of origin would condemn me for it. I did it only to protect her.

Is my sister right? Did I show poor personal boundaries by telling the truth to warn others I saw as being in harm's way?

The good news about all of this, besides the fact that my niece is protected now, is that my abusers and sister no longer are pestering me to visit and be part of the family. They are rejecting me for the sin of having told the truth, and I'm actually really happy about that. I feel free. I feel a huge weight is off my shoulders now.

Thank you all for letting me post about this. It's so strange. I'm 50 and yet with this particular issue I feel like I'm 4 years old and scared and uncertain.