You are amaaazing! Good job! We have so much in common- 2 kids, my baby is 10mo old, we are nurses, my AH sounds just like yours, from the suboxone games, gambling, going to great lengths to reinforce elaborate lies, and even the saying that one last mean thing that gives you that final push. For me it was saying that my older daughters father abandoned us because I was such a b***h and had impossible expectations (not because he was addicted to crack). He also says ill never be happy because I don't accept people and I'm psycho.
Anyway I filed for divorce! And I'm feeling mostly peaceful about the decision. We can do this girl! And I'm sure you look fabulous, he's just playing on an insecurity to exploit you.
Your kids are soooo lucky to have a mom like you.