L2F
Wow do I feel your pain! I am in the recovery period after the first relapse. There are definitely stages of grief. When I first knew he relapsed I was angry. Then in shock, great we are doing this again. Then came the craziness when he was all over the place emotionally because of recovery. That's where I am now. This week my RAH called to tell me something so insignificant & crazy. He was so serious about it. I am up to my eyeballs in dealing with all the things that he has caused. Lawyers, IRS, etc... & that's what he's thinking about?! I started crying, then ended up sitting in the floor, screaming to no one "Get me OUT, I want OUT. I just kept saying it over & over! And crying.
I hope yours gets better, but I can't imagine feeling any different than you do!