learningtofly, I haven't been on this road nearly as long as you have, but it's already made me tired. The worst part is, unless you've dealt with this before in your family, unless you've been a co-dependent, you have no idea what we're going through. Everyone puts so much focus on the actual addict, and true, they walk a difficult road, but so often nobody realizes or they easily forget how much hurt, chaos, and damage it brings to our lives as well. It's not as if I'd like people to pity me, but I guess that aspect of it just makes me feel even more lonely.
I don't think it's wrong that you feel the way you do. I'm a newbie here, but I've read many of your posts and you've done everything you should do. It's hard and tiring. It puts a burden on all of us emotionally, mentally, and financially. I really admire you though. You seem so strong. It's ok to have moments like these, I'm sure.
Part of me feels that I've never done anything wrong, why do I have to deal with all of this? I'm not the one that has the addiction. Why does it have to take over so much of my life now?
I'm sorry, I know that so many other people here will have far more important things to say in response, but I didn't want to just read and run. Thanks for posting this because I think ALL OF US have felt this way, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one.