He's always thought that everyone else needs to change to fit his mold. He also made it very clear to the MT that he thinks all humans are stupid and that he is better than everyone else.
This sounds very familiar. And is, I think (and as other posts suggest), fairly common in alcoholics. I think it's a mind game they play. Because they are aware that their drinking is a problem (somewhere), but because admitting that would lead to having to do something about it (and The Addiction doesn't want them to do that), denial is easier.
My AXH is (was) hyper-intelligent. Off the charts. Puts down other people all the time as being stupid. But mostly, this came out when we talked about his drinking. It was all about how
he wasn't as bad as some people: He didn't get drunk in bars (getting drunk at home is by his definition "better"); he didn't stay out all night (falling asleep on your own bathroom floor is by his definition "better"), etc. But it was all about justifying how
I really had no reason to complain because really, it could be so much WORSE.
I think things changed for me when the thought arose in my mind that... settling for "Thank God it isn't WORSE" wasn't what I had in mind for my life...
And I'm not going to tell you "I told you so." Trilogy makes a very important point that I relate to: I had to do things the way I did things because I wanted to know, in my own mind, that I had left no stone unturned in trying to make my marriage work.
In the end, however, I prioritized getting MY life to work over getting my marriage to work.