I give you the utmost credit for at least trying to go to counseling with your AH and trying to make him better.. I begged my AF to go to counseling for years and he would never do it until 6 weeks ago when I packed up everything that I owned including my 2 year old son, cut the power and water at my house and just left him there by himself with nothing.. He was forced to go get a job, find shelter and to make his life better. Since I have done this he has gone to counseling, AA and other meetings that I begged him to go to for the last 6 years.. Sometimes you have to let them hit rock bottom before they see what they can lose... He is attempting now to get back with me and I can't do it as I am still too angry at him for having to pack up everything I own and move my son for him to realize he was an alcoholic don't know if I will ever be able to forgive him.. Don't get down on yourself though as it is not your fault we can only truly take so much before we ourselves will hit rock bottom