I'm amazed at how different the world looks to me today versus one week ago.
I was so determined that we had to have a plan and we had to solve the issues and and and... yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.
I have to be able to function and be happy without worrying about what wife does. She knows what my hopes are for her and luckily for me she shares them and hopefully she will but it just became so clear to me that the only thing I can do to make that more likely is to just stop ramming it down her throat, take a breath and focus on me.
...because then I will be less tense and less paranoid and well, I will be happy and have a good life. That makes for a better environment for her recovery. It sure would be easier for anyone to get their head on straight around a spouse who is loving and happy and not nagging them all the time, right?
Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that if I am not perfect she will drink. She can't drink whether I am a saint or a jackass but we're all happier if I can just drop the rope, quit struggling against her and work with her where she is now, praise her for the good and mention the other along the lines I learned reading Gottman without blame or guilt.
Again, this crap sure does force one to grow up :-) Whaaaaaaaaaaaaah!