lizatola

One of the things I did tell him is that he has a beer shrine in his office and that it bothers me(he has beer towels hung up tacked to his bookcase, he still has his Bass ale tray set up in the closet with his barware on it, etc). He said, "That's the problem, she's triggered by everything related to beer and alcohol. I cringe when I see a Heineken commercial because I know she's shooting daggers at me." I had said, "J, look around your office in your mind and pretend you're a visitor. What do you see? Do you see someone who drinks or someone who doesn't?"

Anyway, he said he'd put away all his beer paraphernalia. I got catty and answered, "Whatever. Do whatever you want." Umm, yeah, that probably wasn't the right response but I was pissed off at myself for even bringing it up. The problem is that this particular action isn't going to solve anything. His idea of action is for me to tell him what to do and I refuse to tell him how to live his life. So, he's confused. Duh, of course you're confused. That's why I keep suggesting individual counseling for him(only when we're with the MT, not at home or getting in his face or anything). He just skirts the issue and makes grandiose statements and gets everyone off track. If we do get back on track talking about the marriage, he blames and points the finger and brings up crap from like 12 years ago thinking that it's relevant or important today. Like how I got worked up about some financial stuff way back when. Umm, that was when we were living on $40K a year and I had just come home from work and I was stressed out. Making a 6 figure salary kind of fixed that anxiety problem, you know? Things are different now. When I bring up the past, it's stuff that is still current today like AH's attitude, his sarcasm, the JC experience(as he calls it, LOL), etc. Anyhoo, it's a fun ride and it sure keeps me on my toes. And, I'm sure this is part of my sickness, as well. I probably get some emotional jolt from the madness, sad but most likely true.