Wow, thanks everyone, what a lot of really helpful thoughts here to wake up to.
I LOVE that term "self-full" as opposed to selfish. Yes, yes YES!
And it had never even occured to me that he might have been in black out when he called. I was just assuming he knew what he was doing, and meant what he said. Duh...giving WAY to much weight to something that is probably no more memorable or meaningful to him than a beer burp.
I really really needed that perspective, thank you SO much.
It will be hard, but I know you all are right that I just shouldn't take the next call, and most likely there will be one sooner or later. Why put myself through that when it really does no good for either of us.
I am in my own recovery program and I know deep inside that I did not get sober only to keep dragging a drunk around with me. I don't mean to live with my life hostage to alcohol through another person.
I had been hoping to get a call, wanting to know how he was doing, well, i got it alright. ouch.