Threshold

I went to bed on time tonight, only to be woken up a few hours later by the phone ringing. It was my boyfriend, whose been out of communication with me for a couple weeks.

He'd sobered up for a couple months, but started drinking again a few weeks ago. He was drunk when he called.

I'm upset, awake and scratching my head wondering why he called.

He didn't want help, or money, or to find out how I was doing. It wasn't exactly a confession but he did tell me that he chose to drink again to numb himself to the pain of his failed life. That he really just likes to drink..oh, and he mentioned the perks of our relationship being over...he can eat as much garlic as he wants to, and he gets to eat the chocolate bars he once bought for me.

So did he call to insult me?

Someone please tell me, what's the deal with the drunken phone call? What do you want?

While he was talking to me he was banging his head with some hard object as some sort of punishment on himself,not for drinking, but for being such a loser that he has no choice but to drink.

When I started crying, he hung up on me.

so what did he want? My permission to drink?

The only thing I really need to be thinking about is what I want and what I need because he chose booze over "us"...again. I don't owe him anything and he's announced he's officially hopeless, exonerating me from all real or imagined allegiance to him or his situation.

as I type this, I am quite sure he is happily snoring.