Originally Posted by
itsmylifenow 
...The infant in you cries out to be held and loved. Paradoxically, by the very same person who keeps betraying, deserting and abandoning you...p 30.
This is probably one of the most poignant statements and one that I said to the xabf a few weeks back when he'd hurt me, yet it was only him that could make me feel better.
I thought it didn't seem right that I should be comforted by the person who hurt me; he seemed to think it should be that way.
At some point I had to learn how to comfort myself. Because you're right, seeking comfort from the person who has hurt us is just a sick cycle. And they use it against you. The sicker they get, they begin to hurt you on purpose, so that you go running into their arms no matter how horrible what they have done is. THAT, I've learned, is taking advantage of our emotional dependence. THAT is what Dr. Simon says is DEpendence on our part, not COdependence.