Originally Posted by
lillamy 
I have a question because this line irked me:
Have you suggested switching counselors?
This is totally the tone and MO my AXH would use with me when he wanted to appear to be open to me making decisions while, at the same time, telling me exactly what decision he wanted me to make ("change counselors, because Jason is focused on my alcoholism and that's not the REAL problem here, that's just what YOU and JASON think the problem is").
Me? I wouldn't trust a single word. I would wait for action.
Actually, I did suggest it because I felt uncomfortable with how the guy was pushing me to place any requests upon AH to modify his behavior. And, what you stated above is exactly why I still need to be on guard with him. He mentioned that Jason is like a dog with a bone, right? I see that as AH really doesn't want to address the drinking. He wants to sweep it under the rug and say, "I quit. I don't know what you 2 are getting all worked up about and why we can't just keep moving forward with the counseling?"
He has admitted that he was bordering on alcoholism(his words) last fall and winter and he has said these words to me, "You think I want to drink?" Right there, that tells me that he really doesn't want to drink but the addiction is too strong for him to fight sometimes and that HE DOESN'T HAVE CONTROL. He has the illusion of control. Unfortunately, I feel that I've hardened my heart so much that I don't buy anything he's saying. It sounds nice on paper but we'll see how it goes over the next few months.